Cannabis, modern medicine and my brain: My daily reality

I recently started writing about my lengthy hiatus from my blog; this hiatus also applied to other social media outlets like YouTube, Instagram and Facebook. That being said, large gaps of time are missing from my memory. Such as what happened to me before November 2023. I am attempting to find, reconstruct, and put my memories in a timeline to easily find these memories, since they are everywhere scattered within my brain, my consciousness, my blogs, my journals and my vlogs. My grander always taught me to date everything I drew. Even those are helping me. I thought I would skip what happened before I caught COVID. Yes, in November 2023 I had COVID. But on to the important part.

As some of you know, I am a Cannabis user and I have had a prescription for it in the past since I suffer from anxiety, depression and other mental health and medical issues that are still under investigation. I strongly believe that Cannabis is the medicine of the future. When using Cannabis products I am very much for the usage of both CBD and THC products. Yet, I believe that the correct modern medicine can also help. You must find the right balance and the best medical practitioner to help you. Cannabis has allowed me to relax, and it continues to help me understand and accept that I need time to heal and recover. I now see how it is helping me find the things that make me happy again. Cannabis is a daily medication with my other more modern medicines such as Lithium and others to help me keep the calm within me. Cannabis has also helped me manage the pain in my legs. So when I wean myself off Cannabis for various reasons, I don't pay as much attention to my spiritual reality and begin to follow human society's reality; I choose to live in both realities at the same time. I've come to realize that I detest human society’s reality tremendously. Time goes by much faster and people are always in a hurry. What happened to the John Lennons of the world? Where did they all go? Imagine all the people united together as one. The amount of knowledge we could share to make the world a better place. I'm not John and certainly not Michael Jackson but I heard their messages in their music. They brought me hope and love and they are bringing me harmony and peace. And that is what Cannabis does for me. 

I need Cannabis to slow down my thoughts and help me manage the pain I suffer from daily. When I say slow down I will explain to you what I mean. Imagine standing on the corner of an extremely busy intersection. You are standing still while everyone around you is strolling, walking, running, biking and driving fast. However, imagine they are going so fast that your brain cannot register what is happening around you. There is too much information for you to take in.

This is what is happening to me. It feels as though all this information is being channelled all at once to my intuition and my senses and body are bombarded by information through sight, smells, sounds, and my entire body. This is how I feel when I stand on the corner of any busy downtown street: overwhelmed and exhausted. Everything is going too fast and I don’t want my brain to go that fast anymore. It’s noisy and it overwhelms my senses. My eyes want to pick up details of everything I see around me. My nose wants to smell every scent it can pick up and my ears can hear every noise they can pick up including people's voices; I can tune in on the most distant sound even when I don’t want to. And like a dolphin, I can feel the vibrations of all of this through my body. I call this “noisiness” which is somewhat explained by Mauro Manassi and David Whitney who discuss the link between the eyes and the brain:

"To get an idea of the “noisiness” of this visual input, place a phone in front of your eyes and record a live video while you are walking around and looking at different things. The jittery, messy result is exactly what your brain deals with in every moment of your visual experience." The Conversation: Academic rigour, journalistic flair - Everything we see is a mash-up of the brain’s last 15 seconds of visual information Published: January 26, 2022, by Mauro Manassi and David Whitney

My experience of the world around me comes down to this: a moment on a busy street makes me feel overloaded with information and my brain and consciousness need to process this information immediately and quickly. It’s as if my intuition cannot keep up with how much faster my senses are picking up the information around me, including the overload of vibrations hitting my body and energy. Cannabis gives me the ability to process this information at a much slower speed. I can simply be myself and even walk at a good pace. The article is filled with some interesting information and I recommend the read if you're interested in how sight affects our brain.

To sum up my experience of the world around me, my brain and my consciousness seem to be highly sensitive to the details of the information or all the "noisiness", coming from the world around me at all times. This noisiness is simply too much for my senses to take in. Therefore, I perceive that the balance between my Cannabis and my modern medication allows me to receive the information I need to be able to function on a day-to-day basis.

Maybe you are going through or have gone through this same experience. Please share as this is a very lonely world for me. You can't hide forever.

With much love,

mytgurl

xoxo