mytgurl's sad world

I feel like there is this thing inside my dad. And he is holding on to this thing so tight and he's guarded it for as long as he can remember. He won't let go of it even if he wanted it to let it go. There is this fake-ness to him. A sort of misrepresentation. His actions do not confirm his words. His body language is off. It's saying nay when he is saying yay.   I call it a generation of men and women protecting their damaged upbringing brought on by abusive parents and creepy priests. A school of fish being fed at Upper Canada Village in Morrisburg, Ontario Canada  Then these men and women had babies and those babies were abused and violated and the cycle of abuse continues when these babies grow up and have babies. But it's not always that way. Sometimes, one of the cycles ends; the abuse ends. And a child grows up knowing love and compassion and understanding. This child will continue this new cycle until it is broken again. Reinforcement is important. Love and pat

I have had some comforting thoughts lately. They are usually about my mother. She was a loving mother. I called her my flower child since she was as free as a bird. She was free until the ogre was around. Then she was trapped. Trapped to a conservative narcissist. Until this day, this ogre carries a belief that he is close to being a human god, that he is highly intelligent, and that he rules his family. Obviously, those are all lies and quite frankly he believes every single one of them, proudly mind you.